Friday, October 9, 2009

Surgically Altered

In a wonderful development with many layers, Amazon delivered (as it were) in time for me to take the book along on my trip. West Coast (she of the tumors-on-toes observation) had told me the new Stieg Larsson book was out in Britain, I ordered it, it got here in time, I took it on my trip. Even more wonderfully, I could read and enjoy it. What a deep pleasure that was. Of course, balancing my energy both for the trip and upon return has been complicated, but that seems to be the price of doing business these days, and I’m taking my pleasures where I find them. Amazon brought me one more book I’m saving for the weekend. I’m hopeful that the ability and interest in reading will persist longer this time than the last time they visited me, at least long enough to enjoy the next book. I’ll keep you posted.

Feeling my way along, adapting, I’ve realized that I’m spending a lot of time trying to gain some perspective on the difference between how I feel internally and how I look when I’m out and about in the world, which is fine. Control freaks like me like to name things, understand them, label them and be able to discuss them as a way of, well, asserting some control over them. It would be hard to ignore that is and has been my approach to this whole adventure. My new label for this felt harsh at first but it’s been helping me: I’ve been surgically altered. The results of my alternation are that I’ve become a homebody, with less energy than before, but other than that, I’m still the essential me. However goofy this approach is, it’s helping me achieve a better equilibrium and advance with more daily cheer. That’s about all that I ask most days, so for now, it works for me.

What doesn’t work is that the insurance company has refused any more physical therapy. That means that we now must figure out some way to stay ahead of my shoulder issues. I have regained almost full control of the arm and shoulder, but the shoulder still takes odd detours in moving my arm from one place to an other, and both shoulder and neck sometimes lock up. The homework exercises help to keep it all loose, but are not enough in and of themselves. We’re trying to find some approach that will replace the missing PT. Massage, maybe? That’s next week’s task.

The week’s exertions have left me at a low ebb. Speaking of that, there’s a new advice column posted at Happily, it’s Friday and the weekend awaits. Cheers to all.

1 comment:

  1. have you tried tai chi? i find it helps with both flexibility and balance, as well as general "body awareness".

    so glad you were able to read and enjoy your book!