Yesterday, the clutter in the house from deferred tasks and untended routines suddenly became visible to me again. Over the course of this adventure, we’ve attended to the most urgent items and done the best we could with everything else. The clutter and un-done items receded from notice. Until yesterday.
That's when the piles of unread newspapers and our collection of medicine (much now unused), tape, etc., sprang back into view and started becoming irritating. Unfortunately, after the MRI, the headaches came back, so the energy to deal with this (re)newly-irritating mess just wasn’t there. After the travel, teaching was all I could handle Monday and Tuesday and yesterday brought both physical therapy (work on balance, which was very difficult) and strength training. Other than that, mostly I slept. Maybe today, which only brings occupational therapy, I’ll get caught up on rest and be able to think from my tortoise-center about priorities and how to balance recovery and all the deferred aspects of our lives. Maybe not. Maybe, all the deferred stuff will stay that way for a while longer?
Seeing more around the house and beyond has to be good news and mean that my world-view is opening up. Surely that is another step to recovery, and possibly even a shift to Phase 4 of this process? While maybe someone has detailed how the recovery process unfolds, I haven’t yet found it, so this is uncharted territory for us. A travel guide would have been helpful. I’m adapting, slowly and awkwardly, to not having energy to do things I used to do without thinking, and generally took for granted. Now, as I regain the ability to add back, is the time to be thoughtful and intentional so the energy that is available is used well.
Happy Thursday. The week is playing itself out, and the weekend is coming. Don’t forget to take care of yourselves today, and to hug someone you love.