Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Definite Progress; Still Frustrating

The one-day roundtrip to Atlanta worked just fine, including the security part, and the meeting was productive and worth the trip. The next day, though, brought reminders of just how much recovery progress there’s been. For the first time in weeks, if not months, I couldn’t get out of bed. I was up for short periods, and able to work if I stayed still, but kept hitting the wall and retreating to sleep. That effect mostly vanished some time back, so its recurrence was a vivid reminder of just how much things have improved. And also very frustrating.

The “complete depletion” mode is an odd experience, unique to this medical adventure. It’s a lot like the strange version vertigo I still get sometimes, in that it feels sort of odd and floaty in a nasty, unpleasant kind of way. Still, the data point provided by this experience as to the distance covered in this long road is a useful one. Having always been a pretty high energy person, and certainly always having before had the energy to do whatever I set my mind to, this has been a real adjustment and required a good deal of focus to find the good in it. And there is a lot of good in it; it just would have been nice to have chosen it.

No comments:

Post a Comment