In retrospect, the reason I felt "not right” all summer was tumor-related. In the summer, though, whenever things weren’t going well, I went and sat in the sun, which always improves the situation. All things considered, we had some great times despite the hovering greyness. Now, the literal greyness of the days combines with the surgery recovery process in odd ways. The process continues and there’s steady progress to be marked and celebrated. At the same time, this stage of recovery is frustrating--even more so than the earlier, more acute phases--because my energy levels are so unpredictable. Some days, I can do whatever I set out to do and other days, no way. This would all be much easier to be graceful about if it was more predictable, if we knew that three meetings would be ok, but not four, or whatever. But no. So, every day, we eye-ball the calendar and try to figure out how it looks and how to pace things so it can be made to work. Every day, I practice saying “no” or “maybe later” or “how about if we look a the week after that?” I’m still waiting for the part where the practice makes this easier, let alone perfect.
While the snow (four inches yesterday) is pretty, we don’t have as much really bright, hot sunshine as I crave. Which all got me to wondering whether I’d be making more progress on my quest to be more patient and graceful if there was more sunshine these days? It seems likely.
Today is a travel day, workshop in the morning, back tomorrow night. For travel, it’s become clear that it’s essential to arrive early so it is possible to rest up before the real schedule begins. It’s possible to read and work while traveling, but upon landing, I’ll need to lie down and sleep. So it goes.
Best to all of you out there. Keep sharing your thoughts. It's always nice to hear from you.