If you can believe this, my family thinks I’m too impatient and my expectations are too high for how far along this recovery should be. I feel broken and am concluding that the brain diminishment/damage is permanent. They argue that it’s only been four months when we were warned that it could take a year or two for full energy to return. Kearney, in particular, asserts that it takes time for the brain to readapt itself and to grow new pathways. These positions all have merit but they don’t feel right. The limitations are real and, well, limiting. In conversation yesterday (and follow-up email), a friend who shares the death of a mother at a young age pointed out that Humpty-Dumpty was broken and I’m not like that, only reconfigured. Yesterday I also learned that the anniversary of my mother’s death in 1970 is the same day that John’s father died fifty years ago. And Elvis Presley’s birthday, he told me. We all have stories that shape us, and shape our worlds.
Balance is hard to achieve. It’s a goal worth shooting for, so that’s what I do, along with renewing my focus on patience and finding grace in the midst of this uncertainty. Some days bring more success than others. Today’s another new one, so I get to start all over again and seek it anew. May today go better than yesterday did here and in all of your lives as well.